Recognizing the Signs of Assholism

Photo on 2015-01-03 at 11.20

Avoid assholes, and most importantly, avoid being an asshole. If you wonder whether you’re dealing with an asshole, chances are you might be. Assholes like to blame everyone else around them. Assholes like to suck the joy out of the day. Assholes like to show you how much of an asshole they are, and they have no regret in doing so.

Do you ever wonder if you are an asshole?

Top Signs You Just Might Be an Asshole:

  1. You honked your horn and flipped someone off for turning too slowly, even though the left lane was clear and you could have just gotten over.
  2. You make an excuse after having apologized.
  3. You make excuses. Lots of them.
  4. You complain when someone does something different.
  5. You judge others, nitpicking how you could have done something better. (I’m guilty of this.)
  6. Your boss provides feedback that you appear overly defensive and unable to accept feedback. And you prove her right—without even realizing it.
  7. People don’t invite you places and you demand to know why.
  8. You think how much you hate people, all the time.
  9. You put yourself above all others, and why wouldn’t you? You’re the smart one.
  10. You imagine beating the faces of people in, and would rejoice at their suffering.

If you said yes to six or more of these, you may just be an Asshole. But do you care? If #’s 9 and 10 don’t resonate with you then there is hope for you.

How to Not to Be an Asshole:

  1. Imagine that your mother is the janitor of the bathroom when you’re about to toss your trash onto the ground. (And don’t throw it on the ground.)
  2. Realize we are all the same, making the same dumb-ass mistakes.
  3. Pretend your child is in front of you when you are impatient and huffing loudly, shifting your feet, in the grocery store aisle because the cashier is slow. (It also helps to pretend your mother is the cashier.)
  4. Want become a better person. It doesn’t feel good to get honked at (see tip # 2).
  5. Acknowledge when you make a mistake; having knowledge of your own inadequacies help you relate to others.
  6. Think and talk about how you could have done something better.
  7. Do it better next time.
  8. Try.
  9. Try harder.
  10. Allow yourself to laugh.
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