Life is beautiful.
We breathe and smell and feel. I live in fear of life’s ending and so I constantly stop and want the moment, whether it be damning or not, it’s all I have left. This is what anxiety feels like when it’s being managed. When I am most terrified I can’t go into a Target for longer than it takes to pass the first restroom before I find a reason to go home. Something as simple as impending doom would come to my mind. Simple is how I describe it, intentionally, because it’s that believable to me. I’ve been irrational and I’ve been cautious and I’ve been blissful. My husband is the key to happiness. It’s like being married to a control in a scientific experiment. I am smart enough to hold myself to a certain degree of reason, he is my horizon point when I’m seasick.